Porcelain Blinds in Full March

[Julio]

Forget this, nobody asked the potatoes. Because I hath yet seen light of Sir Blimp! Troublesome neglection turmoil! Foil.

No foil of mine shall be. Cups shall be made for drinking, forever more.




***IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED, I WAS BEING RANDOM. BE RANDOM. THAT IS THE GAME. NO MEMES ALLOWED. WINNER GETS LULZ***

[Magical Baker]

Well, I have come to the drastic conclusion, through years of intense study, that this thread has no purpose. The only logical reason I could make to this is that it is ghosts. They would very much like to have your socks you see. Yes yes, they do.
Run fools, before they come. Feasting on your shoes, picking on your toes. Learn from wisdom I have not.

Beware of the turtle.

[Poly]

Have you ever tired to slide a goose? It's intimidating at 1st, but if you have a tuning fork, excitement, & a little experience- You find after you've slid your 1st goose, it's easier to do, despite how traumatizing it can be. Put on a shiny hat, put on a red fear. Lay the goose flat, & poke it near the rear. DO NOT GOOSE THE GOOSE. I only speak the truth. There seems a misunderstanding... let me dictate a letter. Dr. Sir, or sirs, which sounds better? Dear assholes, I have just now seen the damage you've done to my shed. What kind of maniac parents did you guys have growing up where you thought it was could be ok to make a real life love shack in my backyard? And when I knocked on the door some crude young man yelled at me that I should "Knock a little louder honey." I have informed the head master, as well as the monseigneur, I this day do solemnly decree to no longer lick the whipped cream off... er I mean I'm about to get a guard dog. The kind with chains for barks? He's soo bad ass, he's doesn't even chase you down. He has men... TOP MEN.

*Camera pans out to show a whole warehouse of precious religious artifacts*

[rikukyuutu]

blip, cheesy poofs.

[loplod]

And when I came back.. all the DNA evidence.. WAS GONE!

[Dangeresque]

But I ask how? How did the spring-heel toadstool consume all the years challah? He doesn't even swoonch the permits! The PERMITS I SPRAY!

The wind is blowing
It feels like summery days
You thought this was rhinoceros

Any quansters?

[hosh]

The answer to all the world's problems is kumquat. This barely beat out rutabaga by a factor of twelve absurdities. Now if you where to ask an important question such as whether or not you should put on some pants I would have to tell you your lack of pants disturbs me very much and maybe some shorts are in order. Alas we live on a world shaped like a pear and drink from a fountain flavored with oil. All we know is the sum of our diameter and the square of an orange. Must we then toil forth through the valleys of lemon gumdrops and candy cane fences till we reach the giant muffin mountain. Must we dance the dance of the ostrich and sing the song of the platypus so that we may placate the hunger of the galactic crawdad. Must we ........... Um excuse me sir. What where we talking about? I seem to have gone all prune shaped.

[Alta]

Fecal matter is poop.

TESTICLES. That is all.

[Poly]

Polyphemus's Recipe For Hate

• 1/2 dzn Paintball guns w/ 500 rounds each
• 2 heaping scoops of arabica coffee beans
• 13 gal Puss from infected wounds
• 1 Female rodeo clown costume
• 1 Enthusiastic mariachi band
• 2 dzn Striped basilisk eggs
• 1/2 lb Bag tortilla chips
• 1 Day off from work
• 1 dzn Broken bottles
• 400 (live) Scorpions
• 1 tsp Romano cheese
• 1 can Spray paint
• 1/2 cup Olive Oil
• 1 Shot of tequila
• 1 Busy highway
• 1/2 cup of milk
• 2 gal of butter
• 1 lbs Farfalle
• 1 cup Ipecac
• 3 Enchiladas
• 1 pickle jar
• 1 tsp Flour
• 1 Helmet

Take your only day off & throw it away, but not just any way...
First off, cue the Mariachi polka music. Ok. On the hottest day of the year, butter you entire body head to toe. Cover up all those pores! Next put on the rodeo clown outfit. Make sure the elastic bands are tight around your ankles. Fill your hoolahoop pants up with the 400 live scorpions & 6 of the broken bottles. Walk 16 miles carrying all of the ingredients, with no bag. So you have to make small piles carry a little so far, go back a block or so, get the rest, repeat.

Instruct your Mariachis to only play the Mexican Hat Dance song throughout the entire process. It is best if they follow behind in an air conditioned bus hosting a wild bachelor party, that includes but is not limited to, strippers & booze; but it's not nessasary. Once you have walked 16 miles, find a stretch of highway, maybe an on-ramp, to set up your "kitchen". Leaving the other ingredients at the side of the road, put on your helmet & grab your spray can. Use your spray paint to spell out your bank account number, password & pin, as well as your address & social security number in the middle of the highway. Face away from oncoming traffic. Take your time.

Next grab you pickle jar, and fill it with the milk, olive oil, lizard eggs, 6 broken bottles, Farfalle, Romano cheese, flour, coffee beans, & as mush of the puss as you can- eat all the ingredient that don't fit in the jar. We don't want to be wasteful do we?

Eat your cold enchiladas. Wash it down with the Ipecac. Vomit inside the jar, if possible. When the contents of your stomach are empty, take the shot of tequila. Leave the jar on the side of the road. Cross the road in the thickest parts of traffic. Back and forth, until the sun comes up again, using your clown suit as a bathroom.

In the morning have the mariachis shoot paintballs directly in your face, at 120 fps. Then walk back & forth dodging traffic for another eight hours while it sits in the sun. Last but not least, eat the contents of the jar! Take the tortilla chips. Dip them into the dip & eat them all sideways! Then drink the rest of the mixture once you run out of chips. Roll down a hill in your own torture suit for dessert.

Walk back home, & realize you're three hours late for work.
Go to work in your scorpion, glass, fecal-filled clown suit.
Forget to clock in, then yell at your boss & get fired.
Makes one serving of pure unadulterated hate.
This dish is best pared with a Light Chianti.

[kaosherald]

DOOM: Repercussions of Evil

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons' he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.

[Trygon]

^MAN POSTED A MEME^

GAME OVER

[hosh]

Sadness, didn't even make a full page.

[CephaSquiddy]

Its ironic how I fall just to get back up again
A fix to cure this ailing bitter agony
Maybe where the road parts you remember where we first met
So tongue and cheek with stale irony, if it pleases you it pleases me
Just an innocent call a telephone call
Just an innocent call

Now if you were in bloom
I'd pluck your petals clean
Although it won't seem so I can promise you my egos running me
Then I'd be called
You were the only one that didn't fold
But I just broke right down for you in an attempt to gain control

Maybe I'm a waste of time...
Sacrifice another life...

You were the only one that didn't fold

[Alta]

Turtle testicles are good for the brain. It is scientifically proven, that when peanuts mate your underwear will disappear. Toothbrushes of fire will rain through the sky on boxing day of the year £2.96. And foxes will be drunk by a gay man in a top hat.
Nothing that I don't tell you is not possibly maybe the entire non-existant truth...

[Poly]

"What's the difference between ketchup & mayonnaise?"

"I give up, what?"

"Ketchup is over here"

*Points to one of the two scribbles on the magna doodle.*